The wedding-planning devil

We've all heard it before...the devil's in the details.  I can think of no truer example than wedding planning!

A week ago, you may have heard me say something like the following:
Oh, the planning is great!  It was sticky there a while back, but now everything is done, it's just the fun little details we get to play with.  It's so much fun!  I love this part.

What should I have been saying?
Oh, sure, we got the big pieces taken care of, and now I'm at the eye of the storm.  In a minute, though, I'm going to become completely overwhelmed by my own desire to DIY a thousand extra details that I never really wanted, convince myself that they're essential, and start giving myself bridal panic attacks because there aren't enough weekends in the world to accomplish all these little projects.  Oh, and I'll start freaking out about the seating chart, too.  That part's a beast.

It's true, all the essential pieces are all set.  I just have to remember my early planning mantra, "it's about the marriage, not the wedding."  And the classic, "if he shows up, and I show up, and someone's there to do the ceremony, the rest is gravy."  Riiiiiight...foolish just-engaged me, how little you knew.

What's left to do, you ask?

• creating my brilliantly simple centerpieces
• figuring out sashes for the girls
• finding shoes for myself
• getting a suit for George
• hiring an organist for the ceremony
• the second piece of George's wedding present
• tying down the liquor list
• choosing the cake flavors (ok, that one's fun)
• seating chart!!!

Oh...and finishing the invitations to put them in the mail.  Tomorrow.  Three weeks later than my original deadline for myself, and even more frustrating since I know a few folks didn't get their rain-smeared save-the-dates.  (Mom, I'm thinking of you.)

Seems like I might have to stop writing for a minute and start stuffing envelopes...

It's been a while, huh...

So, it's been a while since my last post.  And by "a while," I mean since New Year's.  Wow.  Way to stay on top of the blogging there, K.

A lot has happened on the wedding front in 2010.  We tied down our menu after an EXTRAORDINARY tasting at Rosa's in Hamilton...so comfortable, rich, hearty and delicious.  Mmmm!  I figured out decorations and designed the invitations, and even wrangled the groomsmen into resolution on attire (they were tougher than the girls!).  I decided against harp in favor of organ for the ceremony, based on the song to which I'll walk down the aisle.  George and I have made progress on a few other fronts too...but they're surprises and you'll just have to wait.

The most exciting news is, I got The Dress.  No hints, but I'll tell you the story.  As you probably know, my lovely Aunt Carole was going to make my dress.  I had the pattern picked out, and tried on a muslin version while in Florida for Christmas.  It was made to the pattern and as such, didn't quite fit.  No big deal, that's why we have muslins, right?  Right...except that when another round of alterations is needed, and potentially another two rounds after that...the flights alone start to look daunting.  So I tried the retail route, and was getting frustrated when I came upon a beautiful gown.  In red.

I guess there's one hint for you:  my wedding dress is not red.

Some Googling later, I found the designer of That Red Dress, and discovered her wedding line.  Which is how I ended up on a Saturday afternoon at a Nicole Miller boutique in Philadelphia, with my sister Genevieve and George's mom Gena in tow, and cellphones and cameras in hand.

I went with The One in mind but decided to try on another twelve, just to get the full spectrum bridal experience.  Surprisingly, I was unemotional as I tried on dresses.  It was fun, and I made most of my decisions based on whether I wanted to keep the dress on longer after I caught my first glimpse in the mirror.  Eventually, we narrowed it down to two front-runners and The One I’d Come To See--which I held off on trying on until the end.  We sent camera-phone pictures of the frontrunners to my mom to get her response in real time, and eventually, there was only one left.  The sales staff had thoughtfully arranged for it to be available in my size, only slightly stretched out by the enormous plastic clothes pins they use

Wanting the experience to be as close as possible to really having my mom there, I made some unconventional choices when it came to trying on that last dress.  I covered all the mirrors, put it on, and had Genevieve take and send pictures to my mom.  When she got all the pictures while on the phone with me, I slowly walked up to the mirror.

I burst into into tears.  Then my mom burst into tears.  Then Gena burst into tears, the salesgirl burst into tears, and my darling sister burst out laughing at how silly we all were.  It was perfect…I can’t wait for May for it to make its public debut!

In eighty-three days, I'll become a married woman.  While some of the most important people in my life won't be there to celebrate, I know they'll be with us in spirit.  In the meantime, I know that the next 83 days and the 83 years after that will all be made better because of the man by my side, who has proven yet again these past few weeks that he is my rock.  Overall, not a bad pick to marry, huh?

No news is fine news

This picture has nothing at all to do with this entry...I just really love it.  We weren’t going to dress up for Halloween since we were visiting NJ and George’s parents, but at the last minute I decided the best costume would be Bobby Haranis.  Can you even tell us apart?

We’ve been busy lately, and not so much with wedding planning...but I want to be more diligent with my posting, so here goes.  Mostly, this entry is an excuse to post more pictures of the Sayen House (enjoy!).  I’ve also said all along that I wanted this little blog to serve as a digital scrapbook for me, and that means taking some time to reflect on this whole process.  There might not be any news, but you know me...but when has that ever stopped me from running my mouth--or keyboard, as the case may be?

There are a couple of news items to report.  My dress patterns came in the mail, which is really exciting, but I don’t want to tell you anything about them.  It’s a surprise!  We also have our engagement photo shoot on Sunday, which might be the most exciting piece yet.  We have a lot of fun ideas and we’ll be shooting at a few locations around Boston that are really special to us, so stay tuned.

Back to this reflection business...I’ve been getting a lot of advice lately.  One of the best pieces of advice was to set a time before the wedding after which all troubleshooting is someone else’s problem.  At a certain time, be it 5 hours or one day before the wedding, any last-minute issues become someone else’s responsibility to resolve.  The logic is, my bridesmaids and family know me well and are trustworthy people--they’ve promised to see me through the whole wedding-planning process, not to mention the marriage that will follow.  They can handle it if the car won’t start, or the centerpieces fall apart, or the caterer runs out of eggplant.  After that magic time, all I’ll focus on will be the joyful things, like imagining George’s face when we’re pronounced husband and wife.

The second piece of advice that stuck with me was an explanation of how a marriage changes a relationship.  In most ways, our life together will be the same.  We share a home, so we’re used to that, and eventually even the name change is bound to feel less novel.  The real difference, I’ve been told, is that a marriage is just as much about the community as it is about the two of us.  When we get married, we’ll be promising in front of all the people that matter in the community of our lives that we will stick with it, that we’ll stand by each other, and that we’ll turn to them for help when we need it.  They, by witnessing our marriage, are committing to helping us through and supporting us on that path.

Alright, you didn’t come for my musings, you came for the pictures.  Here you go--but one last thought.  Feel free to share your marriage advice with us.  Thanks for listening!

Check-writing never felt this good

Sweet, sweet victory is ours!

And it is SWEET!

It’s been a while, I know...things have been busy!  We spent this weekend on another whirlwind trip to New Jersey and boy, was it worth it.  My upcoming trip to LA this week got canceled at the last minute (a few factors combined to equal “not the best time to go”).  While I was really disappointed to cancel it and miss seeing California, it occurs to me tonight that maybe my guardian sleep angel was looking out for me!  We are both exhausted, and this was essentially my second weekend in a row away from home (Emerson Family Weekend is the most fun way to tire yourself out on the job), but we made it there and back and have a venue to show for it. 

The Sayen House and Garden is ours!  We went, we saw, we put down a deposit.  Beth Giglio, the event coordinator for Rosa’s at Sayen Garden, is phenomenal.  We met her on Halloween--her birthday!--and knew within moments that not only was this the perfect site for our wedding party, but that she was a woman we wanted to work with.

The house is so intimate and full of details that are nothing short of delightful.  I really am over the moon!  I also love that it’s not one big box--in some ways the more separated dining rooms will make seating charts a challenge, but I also think it will be a lot more fun for folks to meander through to the bars or dance floor.  And the grounds...don’t even get me started.  Even on an overcast, drizzly day it was a stunning setting.

In other achievements of the weekend, we’ve booked our photographer--the phenomenally gifted Candace Jeffery of Candace Jeffery Photography.  We haven’t even met in person yet (can’t wait for the engagement shoot!) but looking over the site and blog, I couldn’t be more excited.  Candace seems to find that perfect balance between artistic composition and finding real emotional moments.  Much more to come in the next month or two when we get engagement shots...please check out her site!

Last, but most certainly not least, I reserved our week-long honeymoon at L’Auberge de Sedona.  I’ve really gone back and forth a lot when it comes to my feelings about registries, but hearing all of the activities and expansion packages available there, I’m just flat-out excited now!  Plus, the confirmation used our married names...which gave me chills to look at before I promptly archived the email.  May cannot come soon enough--especially with November in New England so cold, and Arizona so warmly beckoning...

Of course, in the meantime, there is still lots to do.  For tonight, though, my only to-do is heating up some apple cider and finish watching this baseball game (first and only time I’ll be crossing my fingers for the Yankees).

Good night, friends!

OK, I'm crazy

In my last entry, I mentioned an extra “final detail” for the save the dates.

Just wanted to let you know how that was working out...

The photo here shows the supplies I’m using to create our stefana, or wedding crowns.  I haven’t made much progress since the first initial burst (I’ve beaded about 1/4 of the way around the first ring), and that mirrors how the whole process feels lately.  We’re in a bit of a holding pattern.  Luckily, whenever negotiations are close to breaking down, we break out laughing at ourselves.

We’ve decided on a florist--Janene Puca of In Full Bloom.  Her website is nice, but to be honest, it doesn’t do justice to the enthusiasm and expertise she brings to the table.  Of all of our vendor meetings to date, I was least excited to meet with the florist.  Because I have some very specific (and non-traditional) ideas about what I want, I assumed an “if you want something done right, do it yourself” attitude.  When we sat down with Janene, though, she was quick to expand on my ideas and add her own knowledge to take things to another level.  She’s also a straight shooter, which means a lot to me and George!

George and I are in the process of finalizing our decision about the venue.  We had been dead-set on Erini, but another option presented itself and I’m enthralled with it.  We’re not sure whether the Sayen House and Garden will accommodate our group, so we’ve reached out to them and there’s a possibility that we’ll go down to NJ again in the next week or so to make a final choice.  We’re also finalizing our choice of photographer soon, after reaching out to several exciting options.

I do find it hard to believe how difficult some vendors can be.  At this point, I’m basically putting money on the table.  We haven’t committed to a vendor for X, we’re considering giving you a substantial amount of money to perform this service for us, please give us information.  Amazing how some folks don’t return calls or emails, make up excuses, or just generally flake out!  Real encouraging sales work, there.  That’s how you win customers.

Maybe because of my line of work, I find the exchanging of money to be a very personal affair.  If I want to win someone’s business, so to speak--to guide them toward directing their philanthropy to Emerson, to my cause--I’m not only responsive, but I try to anticipate their needs.  I want that person to have all of the information they need, when they need it, to make the best decision for themselves at that moment in time.  It’s a wonder that some of these commercial operations stay running with such poor customer service--and, in at least one case, a wonder that I haven’t been able to convince George to run far, far away from the waving red flags.

In happier news, I’m also almost done with our save the date cards!  Envelope liners are all prepped and ready to be adhered, and there’s a final detail I’m going to try this afternoon on the cards themselves (which I thought were done until inspiration struck).  The envelopes are addressed and stamped and we’re nearly ready to roll.  Excitingly, I learned that you can ask the Postal Service to hand-cancel the stamps, avoiding that big mechanical mark across the top of the envelope.  I started planning our custom stamps for the invitations themselves, too...a very G+K detail, if I say so myself.

You know, I sat down to write this entry feeling pretty down about the whole thing.  Not the marriage part, of course, but the planning.  As usual, though, once I started to write out where we really are--and more importantly, think through where we’re headed--I feel much better.  Our small wedding will be a wonderful one, and I know that our long life together will be even better.

Until next time, friends.  Thanks for listening!

Missions Accomplished

So much news, so little time to type it all out--family, dress, venue, and cards and crowns to come!

There’s a lot of news to share since George shared his poetic post two weeks ago!

We loved Erini Restaurant in Ewing, and will be having our reception there.  I’d send you to their website but it’s really, really outdated for events--they’ve completely redone the main hall, and even revamped all the menus.  Jane, their event coordinator, has been wonderfully helpful so far, and we know our family-style, mostly mostly mostly vegetarian dinner will be delicious.

In even more exciting news, my Aunt Carole has generously offered to put her incredible seamstress skills to work and make my dress!  I am beyond excited, as everyone who knows me knows that I’m very picky (some would say judgy) when it comes to little details, and I am ecstatic that all of the dress details will be in my aunt’s capable hands.

The biggest news, though, is that I finally got to show my mom and Genevieve my ring--not just on Facebook, but on my real finger, followed by real hugs.  It was about time!

Those are the highlights for now...this weekend we’ll be kicking some stationery butt making our save-the-dates, and I’ve started on our stefana (wedding crowns--that’s right, crowns).  Pictures and details to follow.  Maybe George will even grace us with more of his charming prose again!

Thanks for listening,

kw